Goodbye, Daddy

On Friday, 24th April, at 8.45pm, I got the dreaded message to go home ASAP, that night if possible. This was so sudden and unexpected. Daddy had been in hospital for some tests and was discharged on Monday. On Wednesday, he had an appointment with the neurologist for his dementia. He suffered from Lewy Body dementia, something the doctor diagnosed around 2014.

And just on Thursday, he had seen the GP as he had a cough and a slight fever. That day, he was well enough to walk unaided. Just seven months ago, we had celebrated his 80th birthday and he was in good spirits and looking healthy.

I could not get a flight out that night. I spoke to Daddy and told him I was coming home soon. I arrived Singapore on Saturday on the first flight I could get and went straight to the hospital. He never awoke from his sleep and took his last breath at about 3.40am on Sunday morning.

I have been living in Hong Kong for nearly 8 years. We had decided to return home and 22 Jun was the date set. For months, I had spoken to Daddy, telling him that I would be coming home soon. But it was not soon enough.

On Saturday night, the doctor came to see Daddy and told us that he may not make it through the night. Except for my own family who were still in Hong Kong and my niece in the US, all of us stayed with him that night. We each had our private time with him.

Daddy was always very concerned for all of us. But he also missed Mummy a lot. I told him that he should let go if he wanted to, and go look for Mummy so that he could be with her. He had missed her for too long.

I had seen the signs from Mummy's passing when I spent the last night with her. Like her, Daddy also wanted to cleanse himself. A number of times that early Sunday morning, he had tried to open his eyes. He had become increasingly fidgety too, shifting his body and legs. He also struggled to say something. I don't know why, but I suggested that perhaps the nurse should check on his diapers. True enough, he had soiled himself so the nurses cleaned him up nicely.

When my two siblings went back to his room, he looked really fresh and peaceful. Everything was very calm, there wasn't any more of the laboured breathing because of his pneumonia. But his heartbeat dropped very drastically. Within 15 minutes, he took his last breath. Like Mummy, it was very peaceful when he took his last breadth.

Why, Daddy, did you not wait for me to come home for good? After all, it would have been only 2 more months.

After his funeral, I looked through Daddy's documents that he had kept in his drawer, going through all his old papers. What I discovered perhaps explained why. I found his wedding certificate. He and Mummy married on 27 April 1957. He passed away one day before their wedding anniversary.

Daddy, you are in a better place right now. After Mummy passed away, you told me and Victor that the days you courted her were your happiest days. I hope you will find her in your next life. After all, both your and Mummy's ashes are now one and we have released you both together at sea so you are now united in death, as you were in marriage.

Goodbye, Daddy. I miss you so much.