Guangzhou Once More

The first time I visited Guangzhou must have been in the early 1990's, before I got married. Back then, I had to lead a global project team from the US and Brazil on a field trip so we were on the road a lot, visiting customers' homes.

Now after more than 20 years, I got to visit Guangzhou again. This time around, I travelled with my siblings and a couple friend of theirs. We were lucky enough to have Jean with us. Having lived in Guangzhou for 5 years, she was familiar with the area. She had everything planned for us. So there was no need to worry about transport or where to eat and shop. We went to places that only the locals would know, and that was really nice.

One of the things that struck me this trip was how clean Guangzhou was. When I first visited, we arrived at the airport and once outside, it was a sea of red dust. The moment we got outside, there were people surrounding us, offering to take us to our destination. I was in a group of about 8 pax so I happily accepted this guy who had a van. With my limited Cantonese, all I could say after the price had been agreed was "Hou la, hou la". My American colleague heard that and thought it was very funny, repeating "Hola, Hola!"

Guangzhou today is so modern, with all its impressive buildings. I was truly impressed with how the buildings in the business district were lit up at night.

 

    

Pollution, not surprisingly, was bad and from the hotel room, you couldn't see very far. So here's some photos of the view from my room. The first photo contrasts with the rest as it was taken off the internet, without the smog.

The other thing that struck me was the lack of the army of bicycles. Back then, bicycles was the most popular mode of transport and everywhere we went, the streets were filled with bicycles, especially during the rush hours.

I remember shopping at the Guangzhou Friendship store. It was the closest thing to a department store and there used to be lots of Chinese arts and crafts. Today, the Friendship store bears no resemblance to the store I first went to. Next to the Four Seasons Hotel, it's all swanky now. 

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One thing that has not changed and which I love is the tree lined streets. For a city that has grown so fast, with so many tall buildings everywhere, it was such a treat to still see so much green. And I just love how the old parts of the city are still intact, where the locals shop and eat.

And I just love looking at all the old buildings in the more residential areas. There's also the electric bus.

Guangzhou is so organised that there is a specific area for everything...pets, dried goods, antiques...For leather goods, it's like a whole city for it!

  

 

 

As mentioned, Guangzhou is now so clean, it's hard to believe you are in China. The market (atas one, of course) was so clean, even cleaner than the ones in Singapore.

Guangzhou is the food capital of China. Over our 5 days there, we ate non-stop, from simple congee and freshly made cheong fun to exotic village food to high tea at the Four Seasons Hotel. Price-wise, we paid anything from 90 yuan for breakfast for 6 pax to 1050 yuan for dim sum breakfast at White Swan Hotel. Can you imagine having steamed fish for 30 yuan? At the same time, we had high tea at the Four Seasons Hotel at about 52 yuan per pax. Eating as a local is extremely affordable but if you choose to live like an expat, be prepared to pay close to Singapore prices.

 

 

An interesting dinner we had was at a village restaurant. Tucked deep inside and with no signages to guide us, it was a secret that only locals know about. The food was simple but so good - very different from what we you'd normally get in restaurants. 

 

 

 

  

 

While walking along a small street, we saw a dessert shop where the owner ground the sesame seeds by hand. Something we had never seen before. And of course we had to try it out!

 

I had never known that there were little islands in Guangzhou. So it was a pleasant surprise that we went to the White Swan Hotel which was located on Shamian Island, overlooking the Pearl River and facing the White Swan Pool. The hotel is reached by its own private 635-meter causeway. The Hotel had been closed for 3 years for renovation and reopened in July 2015. Going to the island was like going back in time, with the majestic colonial buildings.

We had a lovely dim sum breakfast at the newly renovated luxurious hotel.  It was a pity that the pollution was so bad or we would have had a beautiful view of the Pearl River. 

 

 

Apart from all the eating, we did our usual shopping. Guangzhou is a good place to get curtains made as it's a fraction of the cost in Singapore. So that's what we did. We had brought my dad's shirts to be made into patchwork quilts for the grandchildren as a remembrance and I really hope they turn out well. Waiting anxiously for the finished product ...

We went with 3 luggage and returned with 9. Successful trip? You bet! Will I go back again? Very likely. Next time I know what to look for.  And we will need more than 5 days :) 

Oh and one last thing - must remember to bring toilet paper as not all toilets have toilet paper :( And not all have doors (still)!

Skillets Coffee House - Rings A Bell?

Was reading the papers yesterday and the headline on the front page of the Home section of The Straits Times reported:

"Park Mall to shut at end of September. Building will be demolished to make way for two office blocks and a retail component."

This brings an end to another long-cherished memory from way back then.

In the 1970s, when I was young, my mum used to take me there. Back then it was called Supreme House and Metro was the anchor tenant. What took us there was Skillets Coffee House. It was a privilege back then to eat in a coffee house so it was such a treat every time my mum brought me there.

It was then at the corner of Supreme House, on the left. It had a circular section and there were seats along the curved wall with windows.

I remember one time we were there, just me and my mum. One of the dishes we ordered was sweet and sour pork. We were happily eating away until towards the end when we saw a cockcroach in the food! Well, that did not stop us from going there.

When I was older, I continued going there with my friends. The cake there was pertty good too. For birthdays, we ordered our cakes from there. My sister's 21st and my 16th birthday cakes were from there.

                                           
Skillets Coffee House later changed its name to Silver Spoon. If my memory serves me right, the name change was due to a family feud and whoever took over Skillets Coffee House changed the name.

Well, there goes another building that holds dear memories for me....At least the building lasted longer than the coffee house which was long gone.

Home For Good

JJ turned 17 a few days ago. His is the first birthday in our new apartment.

We don't celebrate the boys' birthdays like we did when we were young. Back then, birthdays were big affairs and we would invite our friends and classmates - imagine a class of 40 kids at your home.
But I still feel it's important to celebrate in a simple way, even if it meant just having a small piece of cake.

  

It seemed like only yesterday that we left Hong Kong to come back home to Singapore. In actual fact, it had been 11 months. After almost 8 years in Hong Kong, we had relocated back to Singapore. In the 11 months that followed, much has happened.

JW started serving his NS. That was one of the main reasons for returning back. JJ had also just completed his secondary education so timing was right.

JW was drafted into the Singapore Police Force. It was tough initially, but having his friends from SISHK who were his seniors at the Home Team Academy helped. Even his favourite teacher from SISHK joined them during his first weekend back from camp.

After 5 months of basic training, he graduated and as proud parents, we were there for his passing out parade.

 

 

It's a Christmas tradition for Aunty Mary to invite everyone to her place for Christmas lunch. Having been away all these years, I had never actually gone to one before. So this time I made sure I was there.

JW turned 19 in January. We happened to have dinner with Wing's aunt at Tanglin Club. The cake was a nice surprise for him.

JJ attended JC as an immersion student when we first returned to get a feel for JC life and to see if he liked it. As expected, he did not and decided to apply for Poly instead. It was a time-consuming process to get all the information and attend Open Houses at the various polys over one weekend. It was an eye-opener as we did not realise that there were so many courses available. Facilities at the polys were also so good (compared to when I was at Ngee Ann Poly). It was a trip down memory lane when JJ and I attended the Open House at Ngee Ann Poly.

In the end, JJ got accepted into Temasek Polytechnic and he has just started his 3-year journey which will culminate in a Diploma in Hospitality & Tourism Management.

His 2 months working full-time at a seafood restaurant in Fullerton Bay has been really helpful. It was really hard work for him, having to work 12-hour days and on weekends as well. Even during Chinese New Year! But he was treated very well and I must say, it's one of the few restaurants where the boss treated the staff very well. During Chinese New Year when they had to work, they were treated to a 10-course dinner that included abalone.

As a staff there, one of his benefits was a discount and of course, we took full advantage of it. That was where we celebrated my birthday! Getting old...

JJ's motivation to work was so he could enough money to pay for his basketball club membership. He was keen to continue playing competitively and joining a community club meant that he could play in local leagues.

So it turned out to be a really busy period for him, working full-time and going for basketball practice and matches twice a week.






It was an anxious wait for our new place to be ready. I had hoped it would be earlier. Eventually, we got our keys in June. But we were lucky in that we were one of the first few to get our keys. In a development of 700 units, we could have been the last to get our keys in July!

The 3-year long wait for our apartment was worth it. We got a gorgeous million dollar view - from the balcony and all our bedrooms. Absolutely unblocked views.

Without any renovations needed, we moved in in May. Since then, I have captured the breathtaking sunset.

With the unblocked view that allow a panoramic view of the horizon, it's really interesting to see the impending rain when the sun sets, as you begin to see dark clouds.

You can even see how the rain moves. What I did not manage to capture was the lightning which on a stormy day is literally a lightning storm.

Yup, it's been an eventful 11 months and we are finally home. In our forever home. For now at least. Because just as I believe you should never say 'never', you should not say 'forever' as no one knows what the future brings. 

It's Come A Full Circle

This is about a chest of drawers. A chest of drawers that I had bought when we moved to Begonia Drive. Daddy had bought this house after he retired. It was another one of his upgrades and it was his final one.

Diana had gotten married and moved out. This chest of drawers was from Ikea and I bought it after I had started working for a few years. Some years later, I got married and there's a photo of this chest of drawers in one of my wedding photos.

I gave Mummy and Daddy a framed sepia photo to keep. And keep they did. Right until Daddy passed away a year ago.

After I moved out of Begonia Drive, this chest of drawers was moved to Mummy and Daddy's room and they used it. Taking pride of place was that framed sepia photo. Every time I went to their room, it was there.

After Mummy passed away, nothing really changed as far as that photo and the chest of drawers were concerned. Daddy kept them as they were. Soon after Mummy passed away, Daddy was also diagnosed with dementia too. But that photo stayed and never went away.

Daddy passed away rather suddenly a year ago - just 2 months before I was to relocate back from Hong Kong for good. Since our new flat was not ready yet, we moved into Daddy's room - which was large enough for the four of us.

So the chest of drawers was mine to use again. This time, I had my boys and the chest of drawers were used by them. In one of the drawers were all the birthday cards and red packets that Daddy received for his 80th birthday, just a little more than a year ago. I clearly remember opening his ang pows and birthday cards and letting him know who they were from.

Although he was tired after his big birthday bash, we chatted for a long time about his younger days when he had finished his studies at RI. He had talked about how he had applied to work for Guthrie but eventually ended up working at Shell - where he worked for more than 30 years until he retired.

It would have been more than 25 years since I first bought the chest of drawers. And that framed sepia photo is still in the room, where Daddy had left it.

So it's come full circle. And tomorrow I will be leaving it behind again, in Mummy and Daddy's room, as I move to my new place just a short walk away. It had been my wish to live near Daddy so that I could spend more time with him in his final years. But that is not meant to be. I missed the opportunity with Mummy and now, Daddy too.

They are with me in spirit and my wedding photo and their photos will move with me - to my new home, sans the chest of drawers.

Love Never Dies .. Reunited in Death

The first time I saw how much my dad loved my mum was when my mum passed away. For a man who, to us growing up, appeared to be a stoic, he really showed us what true love is. And when I reflect on my dad's life with my mum, I begin to realise just how much he loved her and how determined he was for her to be a part of his life.

Daddy met Mummy when she was just 15 years old. They used to meet at Tanjong Pagar railway station. Theirs was quite an unusual love affair considering that mixed marriages were so rare in those days. Although Mummy was biologically Chinese, she was raised a Sinhalese by her adoptive family. She did not speak Chinese and was a staunch Buddhist, attending Sunday school and was well versed in Pali chants.

That Daddy had married her when there was this cultural divide showed how much he loved her and was prepared to go against accepted norms. Indeed, those were the happiest days of his life. He told us that one day when he was lying on her bed, crying, a few days after her funeral, when there was a calm around the house.

When they were still courting, Daddy gave Mummy a tiny heart-shaped locket with her photo in it. Old and discoloured, my brother had kept it all these years. When Daddy was crying because he was thinking of her and how happy he had been with her, my brother took the locket out from his pocket and gave it back to Daddy. So now, wherever Daddy goes, Mummy would be with him.

When Daddy retired more than 20 years ago and bought his dream house with his retirement money, I'm sure he had planned to enjoy his retirement with Mummy. I had expected them to go on holidays, visit old friends. If dementia had not struck Mummy, I think they would be happily gallivanting and catching up with old friends.

Daddy would not leave Mummy when she became immobile and housebound. He would take care of all her needs, ensuring that she ate well, talking to her all the time. Even when she's gone, he still talked to her. In his heart, she is not gone. When he saw that our names were not inscribed in the marble slab in her niche, he felt that we were abandoning her.

On 26 April this year, four years after Mummy passed away, Daddy left us. The next day would have been their 58th wedding anniversary.

Goodbye, Daddy

On Friday, 24th April, at 8.45pm, I got the dreaded message to go home ASAP, that night if possible. This was so sudden and unexpected. Daddy had been in hospital for some tests and was discharged on Monday. On Wednesday, he had an appointment with the neurologist for his dementia. He suffered from Lewy Body dementia, something the doctor diagnosed around 2014.

And just on Thursday, he had seen the GP as he had a cough and a slight fever. That day, he was well enough to walk unaided. Just seven months ago, we had celebrated his 80th birthday and he was in good spirits and looking healthy.

I could not get a flight out that night. I spoke to Daddy and told him I was coming home soon. I arrived Singapore on Saturday on the first flight I could get and went straight to the hospital. He never awoke from his sleep and took his last breath at about 3.40am on Sunday morning.

I have been living in Hong Kong for nearly 8 years. We had decided to return home and 22 Jun was the date set. For months, I had spoken to Daddy, telling him that I would be coming home soon. But it was not soon enough.

On Saturday night, the doctor came to see Daddy and told us that he may not make it through the night. Except for my own family who were still in Hong Kong and my niece in the US, all of us stayed with him that night. We each had our private time with him.

Daddy was always very concerned for all of us. But he also missed Mummy a lot. I told him that he should let go if he wanted to, and go look for Mummy so that he could be with her. He had missed her for too long.

I had seen the signs from Mummy's passing when I spent the last night with her. Like her, Daddy also wanted to cleanse himself. A number of times that early Sunday morning, he had tried to open his eyes. He had become increasingly fidgety too, shifting his body and legs. He also struggled to say something. I don't know why, but I suggested that perhaps the nurse should check on his diapers. True enough, he had soiled himself so the nurses cleaned him up nicely.

When my two siblings went back to his room, he looked really fresh and peaceful. Everything was very calm, there wasn't any more of the laboured breathing because of his pneumonia. But his heartbeat dropped very drastically. Within 15 minutes, he took his last breath. Like Mummy, it was very peaceful when he took his last breadth.

Why, Daddy, did you not wait for me to come home for good? After all, it would have been only 2 more months.

After his funeral, I looked through Daddy's documents that he had kept in his drawer, going through all his old papers. What I discovered perhaps explained why. I found his wedding certificate. He and Mummy married on 27 April 1957. He passed away one day before their wedding anniversary.

Daddy, you are in a better place right now. After Mummy passed away, you told me and Victor that the days you courted her were your happiest days. I hope you will find her in your next life. After all, both your and Mummy's ashes are now one and we have released you both together at sea so you are now united in death, as you were in marriage.

Goodbye, Daddy. I miss you so much.

Mummy's Memorial Photobook

It's taken a long time to complete Mummy's memorial photobook to mark her first anniversary. More than two years have actually since passed. I was not happy with the first one that was done and it took me a while to get it redone and to find a printer. Finally found an online service based in the US. So Melissa will bring the printed copies home.

It's been a bittersweet project as I cried so many times all over again. I'm glad it's now completed and hope that everyone likes it. Am really excited to see the final printed copy!

So click here for a preview. If anyone wishes to purchase additional copies, do so directly at www.blurb.com.